NOTE: The following post is a true story about a Woman that I have came to know over the years. Names have been changed for privacy reasons.
Sometimes there is true stories that start Out with: Once Upon a Time, They may even end with: Happily Ever After. Sometimes life is closer then people may think to a fairy tale. Except with a fairy tale everything is made up. The evil doers are the wicked witch, the evil stepmother/sisters. There is always a handsome prince to sweep the beautiful princess off her feet and save her from the evil around her.
The little girl I am talking about in this post may have started out with a Once upon a time. She had a Mommy & Daddy that loved her. She had a sister and brother that adored her. Unbeknownst to the adoring family, someone else adored her. Someone that was close to the family- In fact related.
Let’s call this little girl Annabelle. Annabelle was sexually molested by her own uncle. She blocked this out for years. Sometimes the mind has a way of protecting us from going insane. Still the effects were there.
Annabelle became extremely shy. She turned to food and started gaining weight.
It was time to start school and Annabelle was so shy. Being shy and overweight when you are a child isn’t a great combination. The bullies in school soon find those qualities and that is who their target is.
Now Annabelle had to cope with a new problem. She had no self esteem. She was being abused by someone that was supposed to be her protector. The kids at school was calling her names. Making fun of her weight. Kicking her. Laughing at her. She didn’t fight back. She accepted it. She got to the point to where she couldn’t even cry.
Annabelle accepted her life as it was. She didn’t understand what was happening. Why she was the way she was.
What she didn’t know the worst wasn’t over.
By the time Annabelle was a teen, she lost someone extremely close to her. She coped the best she knew how. Hiding her tears when they did come.
She tried to move on through school. Then it happened. Not only was she being bullied by some of her peers, but she was sexually abused by someone in the school system. This time she didn’t block it out. She just dealt with it the best she could. Using food as an escape until she could quit school at 16.
She had a lot of issues. Weight issues, Trust issues, emotional issue, even self harming issues. She wasn’t sure why she was the way she was. She just accepted it and the criticism that everyone in her circle freely offered. They put her down because of her weight. They put her down because of her attitude. They didn’t understand that she was holding things in and every now and then it had to come out in anger. They called these spells “crazy spells”.
Annabelle eventually reached adult hood. She even thought she had found love and got married. A few years later she started having dreams. She started having flashbacks. She started remembering what her mind had blocked out. Things that was said, places, actions. And then the face.
Putting all this together she reached a crossroads. Victim or Survivor. Which way would she go? She started down the path of the victim. It seemed easier. And it was in a way. But then she realized that she was tired of being a victim. She was just tired. Things were clear to her now.
Annabelle turned around from Victim street and chose to go down survivor road.
Did Annabelle just automatically lose all her problems? NO!
Annabelle still dreams. Annabelle still questions why. Annabelle wonders what she could have become. But Annabelle does one thing now she didn’t before. She doesn’t dwell on the past. She lives for the day. She takes it one day at a time and tries to be a positive influence in her circle.
In a way Annabelle is now living her Happily ever after.
Annabelle has inspired me. While I can never stop sexual abuse or bullying, I can focus on doing what I can to maybe help bullying. A few days ago I talked about A bear from Ready Set Go. You can see that post HERE
I wonder how Annabelle may have reacted if she had of had a bear such as this. While we can’t change what happened to Annabelle, we can prevent this from happening to our children today. Maybe if a child going through bullying at school had a bear like this in their corner, they would understand that what they are going through isn’t right.
Annabelle was bullied by family, by kids and by strangers.
Just maybe Parents, Grandparents, Aunts & Uncle could use something such as a Ready Set Go Bear as a tool to teach kids that it isn’t okay to be laughed at. It isn’t okay to be kicked.
That is why I have decided to team up with the Founder of Ready Set Go Bears and promote them. Annabelle’s story has inspired me to talk more about the hard to discuss topics here at Shopping Wives.
I want to stand up against Bullies, No matter how old they are! It is NOT cool!
Stay tuned as I start posting more about the subject and what Ready Set Go Bears is doing to help our children not be bullied.